As fans of The Inbetweeners will know, it’s not always easy to talk dirty. That excruciating scene where Simon tries- and fails- to turn on the sexy talk for his new girlfriend is one of the most toe-curlingly awkward moments in TV history, highlighting how painful it can be to find the right words when you’re suffering with first time nerves. Fortunately, bedroom talk doesn’t have to be quite so difficult if you do it properly- the key is to be natural, relaxed and say what feels right rather than using words that don’t fit easily into your vocabulary.

For first time dirty talkers, the whole thing can be a little embarrassing. Even the most loving, compatible couples can come up when it comes to talking about what they want their partner to do to them, especially if they try to copy the words they’ve heard in porn films. Like most things in life, the key to getting it right is doing what feels right to you. Easing in gently is almost always more successful than going in hell for leather, so start by turning the tables and asking your partner what you want you to do to them. Once that hurdle is crossed, everything else should start to ease into place naturally and easily.

Once you’ve asked the questions and asked what your partner wants, it’s only right that you get the chance to have your needs met yourself. Start with giving some simple commands like “kiss my..”, “sroke my..” before moving on to more hard core commands if you feel confident enough. For many people being given a command is a huge turn on, particularly if it results in giving your partner pleasure.
Describing how things feel is another great way to feel sexy and turn your partner on. Simply acknowledging their touch feels nice lets them know they’re doing it right, then once the inhibitions go you can start getting more descriptive, using words like “warm”, “wet”, “juicy” and “hard”. Avoid overly biological terms- many people find the word “pussy” far sexier than “vagina”- but, hey, whatever floats your boat and feels right is fine.
Lots of people like to swear in the bedroom, using phrases like “f..me”. Again, if it feels natural that’s great, but if you’re uncomfortable use whatever else feels right. “Make love to me” may not sound quite so raunchy, but when your partner is caught up in the heat of the moment the truth is they probably won’t get too caught up on words.

If giving commands and swearing seems a bit much at first, paying your partner compliments is a good place to start. Simply telling them what you like about their body is a good way to get in the zone and increase their confidence without having to get too X rated.

The tone of your voice is also important. Whether it’s because you want to be sexy or simply down to the fact that you don’t want the neighbours to hear, a whisper or low tone is often more effective than your normal speaking voice. If you’re still not quite ready to share your inner thoughts out loud, there are other noises you can make to express how you’re feeling. Sighs, whispers and gentle moans are always preferable to silence and a great way to show your appreciation if pornographic phrases and graphic commands don’t come easy.
Dirty talking doesn’t always have to happen during the act of sex itself. Talk about your fantasies on date night or send each other naughty texts to get yourselves in the mood- starting this way with free your inhibitions and help you enjoy mind blowing sex when the time is right.